Executives in large organizations are well positioned to achieve significant accomplishments and to enjoy considerable wealth and power. However, while professionals entering the workforce may aspire to one day become senior leaders who ‘have it all’—prestige, perks, high salaries, and luxurious lifestyles—the reality of executive leadership is far from idyllic, and substantial challenges can adversely affect both their physical and mental health. Some even compare holding senior management roles as being stuck in a high-pressure cooker.
With over three decades working as an executive coach and trusted advisor to senior leaders, I’ve had a chance to witness that the struggle is real. This is backed by extensive research into loneliness and burnout in the executive ranks, including a Deloitte survey, which found that 70% of C-level executives across the United States, U.K., Canada, and Australia, wanted to quit their jobs.
Aspiring leaders need to be made aware of these realities so that they can be more proactive, and current executives may find solace in knowing they are not alone in facing these difficulties.
Top Reasons Why Leading Can Feel Like a High-Pressure Cooker
If you are an executive, you are not alone if you sometimes feel like:
• You are under a microscope:
Executives are akin to local celebrities in their workplaces, with every action closely monitored and analyzed. You are the topic of water cooler conversations, and your every move is fodder for the latest office gossip. This intense scrutiny can lead to feelings of frustration and like you are being constantly judged, so you start to hide behind the mask of ‘professionalism.’
• People forget that you are human too:
Often, people forget that executives are human too. Because you hold quasi-celebrity status at your organization, some employees may objectify you and forget that you have feelings and vulnerabilities just like everyone else. High expectations for you to be strong and maintain your composure combined with little empathy from others can make it difficult for leaders to find support during tough times.
• You are expected to compromise your values:
Executives are frequently expected to “play the game” or “toe the corporate line,” even when it conflicts with their personal values. When the topic at hand goes counter to your true beliefs, the cognitive dissonance can chip away at your conscience and feel like you sold your soul in exchange for a title and the corner office.
• You are feared and not necessarily revered:
Promotions to executive levels often lead to isolation as former colleagues may fear or distrust you now that they view you as their ‘boss.’ Being around groups of non-executive employees on your own may start to feel awkward and uncomfortable for you because of the tension that accompanies these interactions, so you may begin to withdraw and isolate. For example, you visit the cafeteria early to try to beat the crowd, then grab your lunch ‘to go’ so that you can rush back to eat within the safe confines of your office.
• Your efforts are never enough:
Many executives struggle with imposter syndrome and the feeling that their efforts are never sufficient. Despite your 12- to 14-hour days, you may get raked over the coals by the CEO because your employees are disengaged and burned out, and your dashboard numbers are sub-optimal. Executives seldom receive recognition for their hard work. When they do, they are told they should have made sure to make others shine instead, or worse, they start to be viewed as a threat by their colleagues.
• The weight of the world rests on your shoulders:
Carving out adequate time for self-care and spending time with loved ones seems like an insurmountable and overwhelming task. A common view is that since “you get paid the big bucks,” you should be able to handle the immense pressure of having work follow you wherever you go. For instance, getting a call while relaxing on the beach, getting an urgent email while on your honeymoon, or getting ‘pinged’ while you are in the delivery room (all true stories). The constant stress and preoccupation can overshadow your ability to enjoy life, leading others to perceive you as intense, unapproachable, and uncaring–even if that is the furthest thing from the truth.
• Your colleagues are your competition:
Peer interactions become strained as executives are pitted against one another, which can hinder the formation of healthy and trusting peer relationships. For instance, you are constantly being put into situations where you have to compete for resources, attempt to gain favor with the CEO, and try to recruit top talent from other parts of the company.
• You get mixed messages:
Executives receive conflicting messages from the CEO or the Chief People officer. For example, you are instructed to be tougher and to hold others accountable, and in the same breath asked to be more empathetic and to not burn people out. You are encouraged to be a great communicator, and then ordered to withhold information about massive upcoming organizational changes. These mixed messages can create confusion and a high degree of internal conflict– and possibly even bring on a bad case of heartburn.
• Everything you knew to be true before the pandemic has changed:
Leading in a post-pandemic world means navigating new expectations. Everything that you knew for sure before 2020, has changed dramatically. Suddenly, expectations of you have shifted from being a boss or a mentor, to knowing how to create psychologically safe spaces so that employees can heal their traumas. You might even have to become a referee for employees with polarized views, all while diving headfirst into the remote vs. hybrid vs. in-person work debate. You are having to unlearn the strategies that got you the executive job in the first place and adapt completely new methods of working. You are still trying to figure out your way forward within this new paradigm, and so most days feel like you are stepping into a minefield, which keeps your system in a constant state of high alert.
It is not surprising then that as people gain work experience and insights into the grind, they become increasingly reluctant to accept leadership positions.
For example, two separate studies showed that roughly one third (34 percent) of workers aspire to leadership positions, with only 7 percent aim for senior or C-level management, (CareerBuilder survey, 2014, HBR) , and that 70% of employees offered promotions to leadership roles decline them (Ivanti Study, Inc. Magazine, 2022).
The Ripple Effect of Executive Stress is Far Reaching
Executive angst and burnout not only affect the leaders themselves but also have a profound impact on their employees and beyond. When executives lash out due to stress, it creates a far-reaching ripple effect.
Leaders’ words and actions not only influence the mental health and well-being of their direct and indirect reports, but also affect their employees’ loved ones, who have to deal with angry outbursts or neglect at the hands of burned-out parents and partners when they come home late in the evening.
This exposé is not meant to discourage you from becoming an executive. Rather, it is intended to drive home the importance of being proactive by adopting strategies that can help you alleviate some of the pressure and help you love your life as a leader. It is also meant for non-executives to take a second look at their leaders through a renewed lens of compassion.
The Top 7 Strategies for Executives to Alleviate Work Pressures
If you are or aspire to be an executive, here are strategies that can assist you to alleviate some of your
work pressures, and help to support your mental and physical health and wellness:
1. Find your release “valve”:
Discover healthy ways to blow off steam so that you don’t blow your top with people at work or with your loved ones. This can range from nature walks, to playing sports, to punching a pillow, or confiding in a close friend.
2. Engage both a coach and a therapist:
Seek professional support to enhance your self-awareness and your ability to self-regulate even if someone presses your buttons. Both coaches and therapists can guide you to learn meditation and mindfulness practices that can be very beneficial to help you navigate the ups and downs of senior leadership. They can also support you as you create a vision and take concrete actions towards how you want to ‘be’ and to show up as a leader.
3. Connect with others:
Reconnect with your family and friends and begin connecting with other top executives outside your company to share experiences and gain moral support.
4. Reclaim Your Time:
Build confidence to set and maintain healthy boundaries and remind yourself why carving out “me time” will help you be a better person and a better leader.
5. Acknowledge and celebrate yourself:
Reflect on the positive impact you are having and give yourself some love and recognition, even when others assume you don’t need it. Give yourself a gift like tickets to the game, or a weekend at the spa.
6. Pursue passion projects:
Find meaning and create a legacy within your work by combining your work and your passions. This will help you to rise above any corporate drama thanks to adopting a longer-term view and sense of purpose.
7. Have Fun:
Commit to integrating regular fun activities that bring you greater joy and a renewed lightness of being. This will create a reserve of positive energy that will help you to get through challenging times. You will become more radiant and magnetic. Your newfound calmness and positivity will be reflected back to you, as when you are happier, the more engaged and more productive your team will be.
Implementing these strategies can help executives manage the pressure, reconnect with joy, and be better people and better leaders. This will ultimately benefit their mental and physical health, as well as have a positive impact on the wellbeing of their employees. Despite the challenges, by being more aware and proactive, it is possible for executives to learn to love their lives as a leader when they focus on practices that open their hearts and minds.
This article has been written for the Workplace Mental Health Institute by Lisa Anna Palmer (a.k.a. The VP Coach) is the Founder of Light Your Leadership Inc., author of Light A Fire In Their Hearts, and creator of the LYLTalks podcast. To find out how Lisa can help your business, visit lightyourleadership.com.
