Tag Archives: Bullying

Pandemic-of-workplace-conflict

Pandemic of workplace conflict

Are toilet rolls being thrown around at work? Possible pandemic of workplace conflict and how to keep your workplace out of trouble!

Many things don’t make sense right now. Seemingly overnight, our lives have changed globally. Fights in supermarkets over toilet paper show the emotional state people are reaching and while toilet paper hoarding is confusing for most of us, it serves as a signal that during this highly uncertain times, people’s stress tolerance level has varying breaking points and can lead to behaviour that is out of character.

In our workplaces, many of us still have questions about what it all exactly means for us today, what will change tomorrow and what impact will this have for us long term. The gravity of these unanswerable questions leads to the inevitable of our tolerance breaking and people behaving in ways that are out of step with their “normal” state.

Pandemic-of-workplace-conflict
Pandemic of workplace conflict

Adding to impact is the shift to isolated working. For most managers, this is completely foreign territory and creating new problems and conflicts.

Traditional change management isn’t going to fly, because we haven’t got time before a disaster could inadvertently appear in your organisation or team.

What are we seeing?

interMEDIATE Dispute Management is a business who deals with workplace issues and provides training to prevent them. I have had managers calling me seeking advice on a range of issues relating to coronavirus that could have been avoided. For example:

  • Disagreements about aspects of the coronavirus itself, one of them ending with a barrage of one yelling at their colleague, knocking everything off their desk and storming off (they are friends).
  • Numerous reports of discussions and judgement getting out of hand about the level of panic and blaming others for being too cautious or not enough.
  • Insensitive comments, jokes or social media clips and pictures being sent around via email or being shown on video link meetings. One explanation was that the employee felt more casual in their home environment and it lead to more a loose conversation.
  • People feeling bullied (perhaps unintentionally) by not being invited to meetings or having the information they need to do their job
  • Reports of managers who are micro-managing remote workers because they don’t trust that people are necessarily doing what they say they are doing.

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When I asked them about what they had done, it was obvious that because they hadn’t prepared for this, their organisation had legitimately been dealing with bigger issues (like keeping the company operational) and had no specific strategy for it. Continuing without a plan will lead to big problems such as:

  • bullying and harassment claims
  • serious conflicts (violent and non violent)
  • terminations due to breaches of code of conduct
  • unexplainable resignations, which can turn into costly litigation claims down the track

I then told them the good news, that if your business got serious about this now, you can be as prepared as possible to prevent, identify and manage bullying and harassment and unhealthy conflict. Here are some practical tips on how to avoid sitting at the mediation table in 6-12 months time over something that was easily avoided.

  1. Reminder to all employees of the company’s policies against bullying and harassment

At minimum, an announcement emailed to all staff by the CEO or HR Leader with a link to the relevant company policies and code of conduct.

  1. Educate workers on Workplace Bullying and Harassment, what it is and isn’t, how to prevent and manage it.

Deliver an online course that all staff must complete. This provides assurance that everyone knows how to prevent, identify and manage bullying and harassment. (Incidentally, we have partners with Workplace Mental Health Institute to bring you a modern online course on Anti bullying, which you can access HERE).

  1. Train your Managers

If you manage managers, provide them with training on how to lead and manage remote workers. It is important that they balance keeping people accountable for their agreement frames with micro-management and possible harassing behaviours. If you can, find them a coach that helps them develop their Emotional intelligence so they become aware of behaviour they display that could come across as bullying. Kylie Mamouney, leadership facilitator says “People are feeling disconnected at a time where they need their leader to make them feel secure.” We agree.

  1. Establish new team rules

Managers to hold a special meeting and facilitate the team to establish a new set of ground rules to follow. These ground rules should be around 6-10 statements of how the team will behave and be displayed during every meeting. In the online environment, each person should have a printed copy “in-shot” on their wall/background. Do this with each group you meet with regularly.

  1. Significantly increase your 1 on 1 Coaching and adopt a NEVER cancel culture

Leaders need to noticeably increase connectedness with their people and have them feel that through more frequent effective coaching. Effectiveness comes by using a framework that connects with emotion and logic.

While there are many other things you can implement, for some of us, this can act as plan number one. I wonder what shifts are happening in your workplace and am interested to hear your stories.

Jean-Marcel-Malliate

Jean Marcel Malliate

Principal Mediator, Investigator, Founder & CEO, InterMEDIATE Dispute Management

Bullying-WMHI-blog-header

5 More Subtle Signs of Workplace Bullying

You may not think of your office as a place where bullying occurs, but believe it or not, this kind of interpersonal conflict happens in places other than just the schoolyard.

In fact,

research has shown that as many as 1 in 4 people report that they have experienced workplace bullying firsthand.

Unfortunately, workplace bullying often goes under the radar. Why? First of all, it’s not always as obvious as the overt name-calling, shoving, and teasing that we have come to associate with made-for-TV bullies. Secondly, bullying can be embarrassing: a team member who is being bullied may not want to talk about it for fear of looking weak. He or she may also feel pressure to avoid ‘dobbing in’ a coworker, or becoming the target of the bully if they step in on someone’s behalf.

But workplace bullying can and should be addressed by managers in any business or company. In the work environment, bullying tends to be a long, slow, and progressive process, whereby the perpetrator emotionally and psychologically manipulates his or her target over time. This can lead to serious problems with an overall workplace environment and may even contribute to lost productivity, increased errors, and other issues that are common with a distracted and unhappy team member (not to mention a worst-case scenario in which companies are held legally liable for failing to protect an employee against bullying).

Are you a psychologically safe manager? Take the self-assessment to find out.

5-More-Subtle-Signs-of-Workplace-Bullying

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So, the first step in putting an end to workplace bullying in your company is to learn how to tell if, when, and where it’s happening. Here are 5 subtle signals that your workplace environment may be home to some bullying:

  1. Frequent use of the blame game.

Is there a person on your team who seems to always have an excuse for his or her performance? Does he or she frequently point fingers at someone else, using another person as a scapegoat? Responsibility has to lie somewhere: if someone is unwilling to take personal responsibility for their own actions or inactions, then chances are they’re attempting to unfairly shift that responsibility to someone else.

  1. Minimising the thoughts, contributions, and feelings of others.

Having a patronising attitude toward someone is a subtle way of putting that person down and making him or her feel victimised. A team member who appears to make fun of, minimise, undermine, or discredit someone’s ideas or needs (especially on a consistent basis) could be bullying. They may laugh derisively at someone’s thoughts or ideas; or physically disengage in communication by turning away and changing topic drastically.

  1. Deceit and dishonesty.

We all tell white lies from time to time. But if a person has a pattern of frequently lying, raising false hopes, or saying they’ll do something and then failing to follow through, then this could be a sign that he or she is trying to take advantage of the people around him or her.

  1. Intentional isolation by way of ignoring or excluding someone.

A sensation of “us versus them” can be seriously detrimental to the health and unity of a company. Team members may achieve this by purposefully not inviting someone to a work event or failing to include them in pertinent discussions, meetings, or projects. Purposefully underusing a team member or persistently delegating undesirable tasks to him or her (especially if they fall within many people’s job descriptions) can also be seen as an attempt for separation.

An example of this is, ‘ghosting’, where the bully will ignore a team member’s attempts to communicate for legitimate work reasons, while they acknowledge other people’s communication that they consider more important. While this practice is, unfortunately, widely tolerated in Australia, it is, nonetheless, damaging.

  1. Excessive flattery.

Going overboard on compliments and flattery is disingenuous at best; at worst it can be a form of manipulation, persuading the target to check for the flatterer’s approval on any decisions or action. It can also be used as a prelude to more overt bullying, encouraging a person let their guard down, therefore becoming easier to manipulate.

The best bullies tend to be very smooth operators, able to hide their bullying well, and will leave just enough wiggle room to claim their good intentions are being misconstrued, in the event they’re called out. The best defense against bullies is education and awareness. When people are aware of the signs, it becomes harder for the bully to operate freely.

Keep in mind that workplace bullying can happen at any level and in any direction within your company. Everyone, from senior level executives all the way to the newest team members should be held to the same standards that are necessary to create a positive and healthy work environment.

To your mental health,

– Peter Diaz

Author: Peter Diaz

Peter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

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1-Million-Payout

$1 Mil Payout For Bullying & Harassment At Work – Brace Yourselves

1 Million PayoutA court recently awarded $1 million to a NSW woman who was bullied in the workplace. That’s the largest amount we’ve ever heard of for workplace bullying. The Courts are getting serious!

It just goes to prove how serious the courts are getting about bullying and harassment in the workplace. If this is anything to go by, we expect to see more and more cases like this in the near future.

When it comes to managing employees, this is where things can get really tricky. There are a couple of situations which can occur when it comes to bullying and mental health:

    1. The person does not have any mental health problem, but the bullying causes them to become unwell.
    2. The person has an underlying mental health problem that they may not even know about, which becomes exacerbated when faced with a bullying situation.
    3. The person has a diagnosed mental health problem, which is made worse by bullying.

Read more on workplace bullying…


The other thing to consider as a manager though, is that a person in one of the last two groups (and that’s a good percentage of people) is more likely to feel bullied and harassed in general.

Generally speaking, people with mental health problems can have a heightened sensitivity to the interpersonal dynamics at play in a workplace (or any other social environment for that matter). We sometimes say they have a good ‘bullshit detector’. They are often more aware of the subtle forms of bullying and harassment that often fly under the radar, or that other people might not notice or have become accustomed to.

On the plus side, this means they can call out the passive-aggressive bullies who are subtly creating nasty working environments for everyone. As managers, you want someone to flag those issues before they get worse, so you can address it. But on the down side, this can mean that sometimes that person may be more likely to feel bullied even when that is not what’s happening.

Clearly, that’s not what happened in this case, but it seems to be a common question that arises in many of our courses.

So what can you do as a manager to protect all your staff, and your organisation? Here are a couple of things:

    1. Set very clear expectations and standards for all employees, but especially for managers as to what is appropriate behaviour.
    2. Train your managers in management! – skills like performance management, delivering feedback, supervision or mentoring skills, how to have difficult conversations, and managing workplace mental health, to name a few.
    3. Nurture a mentally healthy culture, a workplace where people are happy to be.
    4. Build good relationships with your staff. You want them to feel comfortable to talk to you early if an issue such as this arises, so you can step in and act quickly before it gets out of hand.
    5. Build the resilience and emotional stamina of your staff. Equip them with tools to stay strong, so that in the case a bully does appear, they are better able to cope, and take appropriate action.

There’s one last thing I want to mention in regards to this article and that is, the reference to a psychological condition as a ‘permanent disability’. There is a huge body of evidence in mental health that shows it does not have to be a permanent illness. It can be but it doesn’t have to be. The majority of people can and do recover, given the right support. I certainly hope the lady in this article does find the right help for her, although is seems than in her case, it’s going to be a tough road ahead.

Btw, we upskill managers on what to do and how to do it, and more, at our Workplace Mental Health Masterclass for Leaders course. Check it out and see if it’s for you

Read the original article here: http://finance.nine.com.au/2016/10/25/09/29/nsw-worker-wins-1-million-for-workplace-bullying

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter-Diaz-AuthorPeter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

Connect with Peter Diaz on:
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Bullying in the workplace

Beware Declaring War on Bullying

Bullying in the workplaceA common mistake people make, especially at work, is to assume that it’s ‘others’ who are being a bully. And that bullying is an abuse of power by some other people more powerful than I. But this is self deceit. Many bullies don’t realise they are being a bully. It’s like having snot in the middle of your face, you are usually the last person to find out, right?

The same with acting like a bully. Ask yourself, ‘can I think of times when I’ve acted like a bully?’ before you answer rashly, think about this ‘do you like to be right?’ if you are not right, does it upset you? do you like rules? (but only your rules!)’ then it’s quite probable that, at times, you may have acted as a bully to others, even if you didn’t mean to.

Or think about it this way, have you ever taken it out on someone else? and you knew it wasn’t their fault but you had a go at them anyway? and what’s more, did you secretly enjoy it? (even if later you felt guilty about it) I think most of us have. By the way most people do. It’s not that we are bad people, it’s that we all have the potential to try to force our thoughts, actions and will onto someone else. It’s usually a response to our own fears and uncertainties.


Read more on workplace bullying….


One of the common scenarios we see in workplaces goes like this – someone doesn’t agree with a colleagues’ idea, opinion, or direction. For some reason, they feel it’s personal. They feel hurt, upset, disappointed, or frustrated. Now they start to see their colleague differently. As a evil, bad, some kind of bitch or bastard. A villain. And it’s ok to stop perpetrators, right? Don’t we have a moral obligation to stop them? …and the reasons for judging, labelling and attacking keep coming.

By the way, this is completely normal and to be expected when you have a group of people coming together to work on something. But if the person is not aware of what is going on, it may not be too long before they start to feel they are being bullied or victimised. And in response, they launch an all out attack on the colleague. Does this sound at all familiar? Now who is doing the bullying in this scenario? The wise person will catch themselves in this.

We need to be careful before we react, to make sure that we ourselves have not become a bully in response. This means a certain level of self awareness and self honesty is required. Rather than declare war on bullying, check to make sure you are responding with compassion, kindness, understanding and assertion, not aggression.

Author: Peter Diaz
Peter-Diaz-AuthorPeter Diaz is the CEO of Workplace Mental Health Institute. He’s an author and accredited mental health social worker with senior management experience. Having recovered from his own experience of bipolar depression, Peter is passionate about assisting organisations to address workplace mental health issues in a compassionate yet results-focussed way. He’s also a Dad, Husband, Trekkie and Thinker.

Connect with Peter Diaz on:
Peter Diaz on Google Plus Peter Diaz on Face Book Peter Diaz on LinkedIn Twitter-logo